When I Go Out

I'm sitting in the San Antonio public library. And let's just say, it's public. Parents who can't keep their kids under control, allowing them to run and scream through the periodicals. It's frustrating, really. I don't know if I'm more annoyed with that nuisance or with the fact that the wireless doesn't have a strong enough signal for me to connect to the internet consistently. I'm leaning heavily toward the former.

False threats, raised voices, young'uns whining over spilled apple juice that is now permeating the library halls. What can you do right? Find a different library I suppose. One that is peaceful, serene, calm; in all other senses of the word - QUIET. This isn't the place to read a book or study for a midterm. This isn't the place to come and relax.

I think maybe, I'll retreat back to my house.

When I go out I play in the street, I get hit by cars, I make mashed potatoes, I get hit by cars.

You Probably Shouldn't Move Here

I don't think it's hitting me yet, being away from home. Probably because every time I stop in Arizona my next direction is always West. These trips have always been wonderful. I get to visit with dear friends, eat delicious food, and relax to my heat's content. After that I find myself driving down the 202 W, to the 10 W, 60 W, 91 W, 55 S, 5 S and I'll be home. But tomorrow morning will be different.

No driving toward the sunset, only away from it. The 10 E is calling my name, and it's a road I've never taken before. A road that is probably flat and boring. A road that rambles through Tucson and Juarez, Ozona and Boerne. The destination; known but unknown, visited but foreign.

This destination though, will not be flat and boring. This I know for sure. There will be ups and downs, twists and turns, and I'm sure a lot of "if at first you don't succeed"s. As far as I know I can't prepare myself for it, can't have any idea of what to expect. Am I ready? Let me answer that with another question - what do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

It's all a mystery right now though. The light is only a few feet in front of me, which isn't always appreciated. I'm hoping this changes soon, only time will tell. Only time will tell.

Well I heard that your state could be sinking, deep into the briny sea, and all of them earthquakes got you thinking, 'bout leaving Californee-ee. There's riots and there's floods and it's smoggy, toxic waste on yonder beach, and all of them hippies down in Santa Cruz are startin' to suck just like a leech.

Anchors Away

The sun sets on what turned out to be yet another beautiful day. I've been having a lot of beautiful days lately. I don't know if it's God trying to bless me during my last few days here, or if I've simply had a string of lucky beautiful days. I'd like to think it's the former, and I actually truly have no other reason to think differently.

One thing is for sure though, and that's the realization that being too busy to write lately has been a good thing. Oh I'm sure I could have found hours between the wee hours of certain mornings, or even passed a quick blog through my phone to appease the multitudes. So let's not get too annoyed with me people, after all, it's not like I'm some uber-comedian anyway (wait, am I expected to be?) - speaking of which, I'm surprised no one commented on my last post on something I found to be utterly humorous.

This past month though, has been one of the best months I've had in recent years. It's truly a combination of all sorts of things. I've found joy in little things. Time with family has lengthened. Friendships have flourished. Adventures, oh the grandest of adventures have been had. There's nothing quite like driving down PCH at midnight, screaming FIF and BS2 songs at the top of your lungs with a dear friend. Really, try to beat that...I didn't think so.

And now I'm not sure exactly when I'll write again, I'm thinking it'll be sometime next week, but not anytime sooner. You see, in less than a week I'll be officially moved out of the state of California. This state that has been my home for my entire life, it's been all I've truly known. I really have no idea of what I'm getting myself into in the state of Texas, but I know it's where I'm supposed to be, at least for the next year...or more. Any doubts I've had about this whole process have slowly but surely been stripped away and removed as the days draw near. I have been constantly reminded of the faithfulness of my Lord, and for that I am forever grateful.

I don't deserve this. Any of it. Yet I'm not called to live in that realization. I'm not called to second-guess blessings of any kind. I suppose that's something to think about; for all of us to think about.

Tune in, tune out, goodbye, goodnight.

I Feel Lucky

Writing on airplane napkins is almost exciting as flying in an airplane. Almost, but not quite. I find it amazing to think that our grandparents grew up just as airplanes were hitting their heyday. My grandpa flew B-52 bombers in WWII - and it's simply fascinating to see how far technology has come since then.

We can jump on a plane and be essentially anywhere in one day. We can have our groceries delivered to our front door and movies streamed to our TVs all for one low monthly fee. And I can be on a plane for a little over an hour, starting in El Salvador and finding myself in Costa Rica with a taxi waiting to take me to my destination.

I'm flying high above Costa Rica right about now, able to see both the Pacific Ocean and the Caribbean Sea. How magnificently beautiful. I'll always be amazed at how vast and beautiful the world we live in is. I know wherever I find myself traveling I will not get bored of the sights, sounds and smells that surround me.

There is too much to be seen, too much to be experienced. And the person in front of me just farted.

So much easier to think that we did this all ourselves. So much easier to let our hearts do what they've felt.

Something Like Laughter

i need a camera.
to freeze this moment in time.
the smile on your face as you come running into my arms.
i never want to let you go.

"tirarme" you shout.
up, up, up you go.
complete confianza.
you couldn't be happier.

days like this don't come as often as they should.
love at its most unadulterated form.
"this is my friend. this is my friend!"
your words couldn't ring truer.

Searching for more than mere lies disguised as dogma, tired eyes tend to wander, seek the light. Create in him a sense of awe that sees Your beauty, let Your splendor flash with blinding light. Standing tall all the aspen trees drink water as the rain falls down like laughter from the sky.

Superpowers

My flight to Costa Rica is on time. I suppose that's a good thing, even if I don't leave for another ten hours. I don't know what to expect these two weeks, but I'm thinking that adds to the adventure and the excitement of it all. It's crazy to think that when I'm back in the states it will be October already, with only three months left of this amazing year. Not only that, but I'll only have sixteen days left in California. I'm hoping and praying I'm able to go to the beach on about 50% of those days, even if it's only for a short time.

I don't know when all of this is going to hit me. I'm not walking timidly around corners though. I'm not looking up to see when the scaffolding is going to come crashing down. I'm not thinking that today or tomorrow will be the day when pretending I'm a super-human finally fails. I know it will be soon though, and I know it's going to hurt. At least I won't be able to say I didn't see it coming.

I'm finding time to remember that one day at a time is the only way life has ever happened for me. I haven't lived two days in a twenty-four hour time period, and I doubt I ever will. So for now, these next ten hours will suffice. Hopefully I'll be able to find a few hours to fall asleep on my first five-hour plane ride, but this too seems highly unlikely.

I wanted to be famous, now I want to take it back.

Where Zero Meets Fifteen

I figure considering I won't be around to post again until October that I should write a little bit. Strange things have been happening lately and I'm not sure how I feel about any of them, but for now I think the best thing to do is to take them with a grain of salt and keep on moving on.

In thirty days I'll officially be on my newest of adventures. I'll have 1,300 miles of open road ahead of me, and after visiting my mechanic yesterday he said to make a point to stop by again before I leave so he can make sure everything in my car is in good condition. This was after getting an oil change yesterday where my car only had half a quart of oil in it when it was supposed to have 4 quarts. I wonder how my scooter is doing...

I can't say that I'm ready to leave, but I know the timing is not in my hands and so I continually step forward in eager anticipation of how things will work out. Sure I could have planned things better, sure I could have waited until everything was in perfect order and the sun was hitting the earth at the perfect angle. But life isn't about waiting, it's about doing. And if everything were perfect, I think I'd be a little scared.

In the meantime I've a lot on my plate. This weekend I'll be up a mountain with a bunch of guys, proving how sportsmanlike and competitive can work together better than oil and water. After that I have a quarterfinal softball game on Monday night, and if we win we'll play an hour later. I jump on a plane headed to Costa Rica immediately afterwards, where I'll be there for a good 11 days. Words cannot express how excited I am about this... When I get back home there will be two weeks left for me in California. 

Goodbye west coast.

What does it matter anyway, thirteen cents or all I own? How can I ever save the world on cup-o-soup and student loans?