Thursday, November 26, 2009

All That Is Good

I'm sitting on the couch I should be currently sleeping in. Sheets are pulled back, ready for my feet to crawl underneath, and the pillow is all too inviting. They can wait for a couple minutes though, as right now the writer's urge has hit. And you know when that happens there's no stopping it. Shortening it maybe, but no complete cessation.

I had the wonderfullest of nights tonight over at my friend's house. We ate homemade tacos, dipped chips in homemade salsa, and ate tacos until our bellies were full. My dearest "A", seen above, decided her tummy didn't want tacos and so she stuck with chicken nuggets and ketchup. A fine choice if you ask me, even if her tummy still ended up not wanting them as well. She's been recovering from being sick, so hopefully sleep will help her out for a full day tomorrow.

Before her sleep though, we had the chance to read a book about puppies and snow. I must say she rather enjoyed it, her brother "ZC" did as well. After reading a book to her she'll always ask me to read it again, which always amuses me. I suppose it's the simple things in life that children are most fond of, and repetition isn't such a bad thing if it's beautiful. But I got to read a chapter of a book for "ZC", and we were all content.

Life's been like that recently, complete contentment. Alright so maybe not utterly bona fide 100% complete, but darn-near enough to where I'm not complaining. It's the simple things I'm finding hope in. The simple things that bring a smile to my face. And life has been full of them recently.

Where does the misunderstanding come from, demanding that we be outstanding and then some? Perfection never was a requirement, although some might say we desired it. So then for times when things get old I might get cynical.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Prologue II

I finally have a day off where I can sit and do nothing and fully enjoy it. This past week has been full of work work work, and even though I'm super excited to be making money once again and realizing I'm going to have a steady income, I'm glad for the peace and quiet. For the time being I'm listening to Soapbox Symphony along with the rain that is falling outside. It's raining steadily. Not a downpour or a sprinkle, but a nice consistent waterfall.

I've missed the rain. Having grown up in southern California I would always be appreciative of any rain we'd get. There would be instances when it would rain for a few days at a time, but with the absence of seasons there comes an inconsistent appearance of the sweet liquid.

Yesterday afternoon the clouds started rolling in. The humidity was bearable, but you could feel a change in the air, a difference was certainly presented. It took a while for the rain to finally decide it was ready. I was sitting eating dinner and I saw lightning strike in the distance. When I walked outside I could hear the thunder, see the lightning, and finally feel the first drops fall to the ground. I made it to my place of residence for the night without any problems, I was only a couple miles away to be honest, and propped up my umbrella above my open car door to get some of my belongings inside without getting them or myself too wet. As I lay on the couch ready for bed I could hear a steady downfall, and I was very content. 

Right now I sit on the same couch I fell asleep on, and look behind me at the consistency of raindrops pitter-pattering on the red deck. The oak tree above it catches as much of the drops as it can, soaking up as much precipitation as it can in order to stretch its roots deeper and deeper into the ground. It receives life from this water, and it lives in comfort knowing it has a long life ahead of it to live.

I feel like this oak tree. I may be a much younger version of it, but I get another vivid description of how my life is supposed to be lived right now. For me, life is happening all around me, and I've been called to sit and bask in the blessings that surround me. I'm supposed to take it all in, and become like a tree firmly planted by streams of water. The life is here, and I accept it fully, without hesitation or caution.

Let it rain.

In perfect orbit they have circled. As the light of many worlds falls softly on their skin. And days here pass like minutes. One moment of brilliant daylight will shift into the next. A flash of dark behind some distant lost moon. And then it is over. Like the pause before waking. Sleep is replaced by light, and life, and hope. It is the light of one far away sun that has beckoned them to leave and the hope of home that has lifted them from slumber. The hope that though the dark may come, the sun also rises.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Prologue I

I feel like this is just the beginning. The precursor to what is going to turn out to be the grandest of all adventures. And I'm okay with that, I always have been. It's just that I'm beginning, after being in a whole new place for the past two weeks, to realize that this is it. It's not the warm-up, it's not the stretches, it's game time. I can't be living as if this were just one more step before life truly begins. In a way that's how it's been. Ever since graduating college really.

In college it was simpler though. I had classes I needed to pass, and so that made the wondering how each day was supposed to pan out much easier. In those classes were people who lived in the dorm I was living in, ate in the caf I was eating in, and played the same intramural sports I was playing. Life and relationships just happened. There was always someone you could find who shared a common like or dislike, and as a result you became friends.

Video games kept us awake through ungodly hours of the night, late term papers had the same effect, and at times conversations in the prayer room lasted way too long. Did anyone ever actually pray in there? Maybe that's why they took it away. In any case, strong friendships were forged through these times, as well as broken I'm sure, but not as often. 

Four years have passed since then though. Each of us having lived over a thousand days, over thirty-five thousand hours. At first we stayed close to the city we graduated in. Our friendships were more important than our living arrangements. But as time passed, and the realization that we needed to get our lives in order, we spread out. Cheaper housing was available anywhere over five hundred miles away. Jobs and families had stronger bonds than our desires to stay nearby to one another. 

Maybe we finally started realizing that we needed to live our own lives. We couldn't live vicariously through each other, no matter how hard we tried. And maybe the only way we thought this possible was to move away from the friends we loved, the relationships we built over the past eight years. The closest "friend" I have from college lives 215 miles away, and we haven't even truly spoken since we graduated. The next closest is 900 miles away, and I don't even want to know what mileage category the others fall into.

I suppose what I'm saying is that we're now all out on our own. True life has hit us and we've decided to grab it by the horns and hope the ride ends somewhere enjoyable. We're ready to be held responsible for our actions, we're ready to build more relationships that will last longer than forever. We're ready to dig in our toes and our heels and plant ourselves in the soil that has been eagerly awaiting our arrival since birth. 

Where will our roots go though? Will they only linger among the topsoil and weeds that have no nourishment and only sporadic water? Or will they penetrate deeply into the firmament that longs to be tilled its entire life? It's entirely up to us, but as I said in the beginning I feel like this is the time to do it. It's not up to us to worry about where we will find ourselves tomorrow or next year. It's not up to us to try and change the seasons in our lives or force change that might not be ready to happen. 

Life, as complicated as it may be, is meant to be lived.

But not haphazardly, or lazily. 






Take today, for all it's worth, and live the best way you know how. Just try it. I dare you.

Just off the border of your waking mind. There lies another time where darkness and light are one. And as you tread the halls of sanity, you feel so glad to be unable to go on. I have a message from another time. Godspeed.