I sit here, eleven months after leaving California. SO much has changed, so much that I am unaware of the majority of it. This morning back in California the men of my home church are finishing up a men's retreat. It is a retreat I have gone to for the past eleven years - one that is full of Godly friendships, great competition and most importantly a simple getaway from the everyday worries of life. I miss them all.
But today. Today I sit in a living room full of forty people who are all worshiping the same God together. The same God that my friends back home are praising. The same god that placed the desire to move to Texas on my heart. The same God that has provided for, loved, and guided me on a path that only he could have planned for me.
I sit here today torn between a life that benefits me and a life that only glorifies my Father. I yearn for the latter. I yearn for the life that Father has for me. I yearn to love and be loved by Him. And I can't do it by myself. Try as hard as I may, nothing I do can grant me the life that I know is best for me.
Except surrender.
Nineteen months ago a friend from my home church told me: "There will be a point where you realize 'you can't do this anymore.' This is a good place to be in, for that is where God will say - it's my time."
And that is all I know I can hope in trust in.
God, it's your time.
i thought about you the other day and then later that day i drove through dana point. texas for you is probably like orange county for me. maybe this verse will benefit you:
ReplyDeletejeremiah 29:7
Oh how God wants us all to be right there, to allow Him to rule our lives, dance over us and love us like no other. Believe that you are blessed, chosen, Adopted, Accepted, redeemed, forgiven...Eph 1:3-8. For the LORD Our God is WITH YOU!!! Amen and Amen!
ReplyDelete